Picture it…July 2010. It’s a scorcher of a day, and the mall is the only place with decent air conditioning. Excited by Luca Turin’s five star review of Aromatics Elixir (and its reasonable price), a woman heads to the Clinique counter.

She grabs the tester bottle and sprays perfume on her arm without hesitation….

You can guess what happened next…

My inexperienced nose wrinkled in disgust. So great was my repulsion, I uttered the go-to insult of ignorant sniffers: “This smells like old ladies”. 

If Sophia Petrillo had been there, she’d have cursed me and called me a slut. Could you blame her?

Last Saturday something turned my attention back to Aromatics Elixir, the passionately loved and deeply despised perfume composed by Bernard Chant in 1972.  Since I was headed to the mall that evening, I planned to visit the Clinique counter for a re-sniff.

In preparation for re-sniffing, I decided to read some reviews. I started with Yesterday’s Perfume as I trust Barbara Herman’s nose when it comes to classics. Her wonderful review left me hanging my head in shame. Aromatics Elixir has everything I want in a perfume! How could I have rejected it? (I blame beginner’s nose)

Barbara also mentioned there were “fascinating and hilarious” reviews for Aromatics Elixir on Basenotes so I headed there next. Sure enough, there were some fascinating and hilarious reviews, but it was on Makeup Alley that I found the most fascinating and hilarious review of all. 

From the poison pen of reviewer “Kabuk1” dripped these poignant observations:

It smells like a combination of old lady, dirty hippie, and funeral home.”
Only someone with a dying sense of smell could possibly like this olfactory abortion.
Aromatics Elixir smells like Bigfoot’s dick.
Bigfoot smell like Elixir, not other way around

You can guess what happened next…

That evening I bought a bottle of Aromatics Elixir.

Stay tuned for the review.

*Still from “The Golden Girls” from starpulse.com
*Aromatics Elixir image from perfumeparadise.ca
*Review of Aromatics Elixir property of B. Herman at Yesterday’s Perfume
*Review of Aromatics Elixir by Kabuk1 at Makeupalley.com