As I admitted in my last post, Mission Perfume Lockdown was a complete failure. As soon as I vowed not to buy perfume for 60 or so days, all available perfumes in surrounding communities were marked down by 50%. I was already weak when the online vendors of vintage and rare perfumes, batting their eyelashes, lifted their skirts to reveal tiny bottles of Diorissimo and Magie Noire. I couldn’t say no.

There’s perfume in them thar skirts!

I even bought a few vintage fragrances I wasn’t looking for, thinking “someone I know probably loves this. I better buy it just in case they can’t find any”. Blinded by the desire to have all these perfumes at my fingertips, I mistakenly bought a miniature perfume I already have and don’t even like very much. The perfume was cheap, but the shipping costs were outrageous! I made an expensive mistake that opened the door wide to Guilt.

Guilt took no time at all making himself at home. He could not believe how easily he drew me in (again) and with a smug smile, whispered “It’s like you can get enough of me”. In the interest of public safety, I’m posting a picture of Guilt. Do not let him into your home.

He smells of whatever elusive perfume you desire

Feelings of guilt always precede a few days of self-analysis and sure as the sun rises and sets, I began to reflect upon my purchases. My inner monologue circled noisily in my head like a hamster on an exercise wheel. I wondered “Have I lost all control? Maybe I’m just greedy…” On second thought, I won’t bore you with that. Listen to this much more entertaining inner monologue which begins at 0:50.

So, here it is days later and I haven’t come to any firm conclusion about why I buy so much perfume. One would figure I wouldn’t be so quick to click “buy now” knowing Guilt is waiting in the wings. But logic isn’t my game, so I told him to stuff it.

Isn’t she cute?

Can Can Dancers photo from 
Guilt, oops Tom Hardy photo found at greenly chalked
Inner Monologue scene from Woody Allen’s Hannah & Her Sisters. Source: YouTube
Diorissimo photograph from EBay seller gift2sale